Through the high-res zoom lens of hindsight, I saw linguistic tics that were decidedly unlike Chris, or, really, anyone for whom American English was a native tongue. I pored over the e-mails from Phony Chris, castigating myself. Why, he asked, sounding more than a little bit stressed, had I done that, when he hadn’t asked me to?įirst, the shame. He’d been offline for a few hours, he said, so he was just now seeing that I’d sent him my manuscript twice that morning. Not long after I sent the Word manuscript to the. I was in no condition to think, only to do. When these e-mails came, I was a quivering zombie, incapable of real thought, looking only to move forward, dealing with whatever came up until the next time my son slept, when I could try sleeping, too. I started on coffee sometime around dawn. The night before, I’d been up several times, tending to my nine-week-old son, and never finding my way back to true sleep. Why didn’t I just call Chris and ask him what was going on? Here’s my best attempt at a defense. Looking back, this is the part where I can’t quite understand my actions. Could I try again, this time working around the problem by changing the. At 4:03 P.M., I got another e-mail, which explained that Chris’s agency was in the process of switching servers, and perhaps this explained why my e-mails weren’t coming through. can you resend please?” I re-forwarded the old e-mail with the Word file. I found an old e-mail with the Word file attached and forwarded it along.Īt 3:44 P.M., another e-mail arrived: “Strange, I haven’t received anything now . . . Could I send over the latest version of my unsold novel-in-progress as a Microsoft Word file? “I just realized,” the e-mail read, “that I only have it as a PDF.” It wasn’t like Chris to misplace things, but the situation didn’t seem implausible. on September 20, 2020, I received what appeared to be an innocuous e-mail from my literary agent, Chris.
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